What Will They Think Of Next?

Today, while I was cleaning my crockpot (elbow deep in baked-on-grime from where the stew had boiled over and dripped between the pot and the cooker) I heard a suspicious coughing sound coming from the other side of the couch. I rinsed charred stew off my hands as quickly as possible and trotted across the room, dripping stew water from my fingertips as I went. I saw what I suspected. Emily was laying on the rug in front of our couch, throwing up. She managed to throw up not only on the rug, but on a pillow (that does NOT have a removable cover), the floor, her clothes, and her favorite baby doll. After scooping her up, I managed to get another round of throw up on my shirt, and the floor. Anna immediately ran and found a dirty towel from the laundry room, and to my horror, started mopping up the floor (re. spreading throw up around) with one of my white towels. The third round of throw up hit our chaise lounge, and Caleb's Boppy- not to mention the blanket Emily was wrapped in after being stripped of her throw up clothes. "What was Ben up to during this mayhem," you ask? That's a great question. As we all know, children have a knack for knowing when their parents are unaccessible and for using that time to implement their own crazy plans. In the midst of throw up, Ben rolled our pumpkin off the table and carved it. I'm not kidding. He carved it with a 10 year old plastic knife that I bought at Target while I was in college. The only thing I can figure is that the pumpkin cracked when it hit the floor, which gave him an opening. However, he did most of the damage himself. Anna was an accomplice once he got to the seed scooping stage. Apparently, this is what they did in school today. Moms all over the world know that this is why you can't go to the bathroom with peace of mind as long as your children are awake. While you are still flushing the toilet, they will be dropping eggs off the back of the couch to see if objects really fall at the same rate of speed.